a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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