Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
