I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
