Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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