I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
