I can tuck mytits in my pants
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
