the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
