They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize