is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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