The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
