It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
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I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
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