I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
