so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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