Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize