doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
