Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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