I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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