Whod you bang
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize