at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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