just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's the barista slut.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
