Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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