PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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