Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
