i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
