you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
