You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
