dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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