i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize