At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
there is glitter all over my balls
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
