i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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