it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
