I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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