he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
