She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
