yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
