Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

  (310): View more from California

  Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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  (310): Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them. (310): Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light. http://tfl.nu/t4oe
  Replies (12) Good night (3292) Bad night (631)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?

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  (740): he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine? http://tfl.nu/es01
  Replies (42) Good night (1341) Bad night (4173)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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  (802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1
  Replies (47) Good night (758) Bad night (6199)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.

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  (732): I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/01mk
  Replies (9) Good night (871) Bad night (3975)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"

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  (425): They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!" http://tfl.nu/9fc7
  Replies (3) Good night (3568) Bad night (860)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen

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  (920): I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen http://tfl.nu/zyec
  Replies (7) Good night (3857) Bad night (873)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

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  (717): if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it http://tfl.nu/n58g
  Replies (16) Good night (3576) Bad night (1642)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!

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  (708): Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player! http://tfl.nu/3jxt
  Replies (8) Good night (3689) Bad night (758)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?

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  (314): I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go? http://tfl.nu/u68l
  Replies (1) Good night (1743) Bad night (636)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back

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  (585): She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back http://tfl.nu/7ssu
  Replies (2) Good night (1383) Bad night (633)
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  (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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  (209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1
  Replies (7) Good night (1739) Bad night (1080)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Is that weird?

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  (508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc
  Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (559)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!

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  (210): He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!! http://tfl.nu/ekhg
  Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (328)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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  (803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74
  Replies (13) Good night (542) Bad night (1245)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?

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  (770): i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today? http://tfl.nu/3ln3
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (283)

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