Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him

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(315): I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him http://tfl.nu/jvcn

Replies (7) Good night (1287) Bad night (2531)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend. (508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. http://tfl.nu/ho6s

Replies (190) Good night (58485) Bad night (5345)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i turned job hunting into a drinking game..

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(651): i turned job hunting into a drinking game.. http://tfl.nu/xroj

Replies (20) Good night (5908) Bad night (825)
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(708): View more from Illinois

You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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(708): You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/enxi

Replies (13) Good night (6658) Bad night (1371)
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(407): View more from Florida

Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.

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(407): Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents. http://tfl.nu/8i9e

Replies (12) Good night (963) Bad night (3038)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.

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(506): No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park. http://tfl.nu/t1o0

Replies (7) Good night (903) Bad night (2402)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.

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(484): You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night. http://tfl.nu/9q4k

Replies (9) Good night (3331) Bad night (877)
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(425): View more from Washington

so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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(425): so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork. http://tfl.nu/y2vt

Replies (0) Good night (1703) Bad night (713)
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(954): View more from Florida

Promise me you won't have sex in my room

(248): View more from Michigan

I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try

(248): View more from Michigan

Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.

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(954): Promise me you won't have sex in my room (248): I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try (248): Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge. http://tfl.nu/lf7v

Replies (2) Good night (1403) Bad night (552)
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(407): View more from Florida

Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear

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(407): Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear http://tfl.nu/b5s7

Replies (3) Good night (1221) Bad night (440)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.

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(403): Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts. http://tfl.nu/53ih

Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (379)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"

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(573): Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo" http://tfl.nu/w19f

Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (400)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"

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(931): I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl" http://tfl.nu/ovhn

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (353)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.

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(336): he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded. http://tfl.nu/l70w

Replies (3) Good night (1033) Bad night (318)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.

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(+61): I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake. http://tfl.nu/feta

Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (425)

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