dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
