I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
