do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
