Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize