you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
