just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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