chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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