I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There r osticjed everywhere
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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