even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dicks are not precious.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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