I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
