his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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