let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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