So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
