We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I had to cum in my sink.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
