That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think i have herpe
just one?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
