You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
