that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
