im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You made me cry and you don't even care
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
