"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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