Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
