I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize