In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
