and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
