Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
