Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize