STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
