I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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