i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We don't watch enough power rangers
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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