saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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