Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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