Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Randomize
