no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
