Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
