My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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