just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
