You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
