She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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